Posted by: emmacraig | December 28, 2009

Every cloud…

So I thought seeing as Sam gave you a small insight into the life as a medic in her first post I should share something with you.  I am a failed medic *Cue horrified gasp from audience*.

I know, dreadful isn’t it?  All that time spent studying for my Alevels, doing voluntary work and sign language classes to pad out my UCAS.  The striving for work experiance (I was so desperate I did my w/e placement during the week of my a/s exams.  I just missed the morning/afternoons when I had to sit something then popped into the hospital after) and the long hours of studying.  The money spent on intelligence tests and transport to interviews; not to mention organising a round of hep jabs and filling out endless CRB checks.  All this to fudge up my Chemistry ALevel and end up without anything to show for it.

I remember walking into school to get my results and everyone else asking me if I was excited to be off to Glasgow.  Lucky lot had already been accepted on UCAS and assumed seeing as I was showing my face I was in too.  I remember opening my results are trying to tally up how I did, AAC…..*~$%.  I remember my friend jumping around as she found out she’d got into medicine then seeing my face and dragging me into the head of years office, all the sympathy looks from the teachers as they found out.  Most of all I remember driving home and feeling quite calm as I let ‘things can only get better’ blare out from my car radio.  Every cloud has a silver lining, stiff upper lip.  Stupidly the thing I was most upset about was letting everyone down.  Nothing has ever been so hard as that phone call to my mum in work to tell her I didn’t get the grades, knowing full well all her work mates knew about it as well as the extended family and friends.  Everyone would know about my failure.

But every cloud does have a silver lining.  I’ve had a few tutor changes in Newcastle and every time they’ve expressed surprise when I’ve said no in response to the  ‘so your first choice was medicine, still your final goal?’.  Indeed I think I’d impressed at medical interviews by being so firm in my assertion that no matter what happened I was re-applying and re-applying until I got my place in Med school.  That doesn’t even factor in the life plan these days.

The whole point of this is to make you see failure as an opportunity.  Perhaps I would have been happy in Glasgow studying Medicine but I’m not there.  Life is defined not by your mistakes but what you make of them.  So I’ll never be a doctor that’s not to stop me from winning a nobel prize or writing a best selling novel.  Maybe I’ll fail at them too but if I don’t pick myself up and give it a bash who’s to say what my limit is?

Mmm more musing on this in part two I think!  I hope you await with baited breath!

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