The 10 Holy Commandments for medical students
1) Thou must befriend a student from the year above- it is thy only hope of passing if guilty of laziness.
2) Thou must not run to ask the lecturer questions at the end of a lecture, brown nosing is most unwelcome in this establishment.
3) Thou must plant thy seeds with students outside of medicine. Incest is never acceptable, only in the Garden of Eden.
4) Thou must not succumb to the debates on LSE- they will only lead to the path of Satan where fugly men reside.
5) Thou must not ask pointless questions for the sake of asking them- there is no known quicker way to p**s off your cohort.
6) Thou must not slag off GPs- chances are you willst end up as one.
7) Thou must attend ‘Metroline’ annually, and end up intoxicated at RVI A&E. More blessings will be bestowed upon those who are treated by senior lecturers.
8) Thou must try & maintain a healthy wholesome lifestyle- mixing happy hour with the occasional educational bedtime read.
9) Thou must remember that students who fail exams become better doctors- the more you fail the more likely you are to become a Professor.
10) Remember medical students have the highest suicide rate- follow 3, 7-9 and I will ensure you will never be led down Satan’s erroneous path.
Forever & Forever,